The Milton Bradley Award
Every year in every sport people rise above the cream of the crop and become the new favorites in a sport, and others show their true colors and become the newest Milton Bradley in their respective league. Now it takes quite a bit to reach Milton’s level, but there are some guys on the Junior circuit who may be big enough closet assholes to come out and win this award. Now for me to pick this I’m probably going to pick someone I just effing hate, see Ozzie Guillen, but to truly win it you have to be hated for good reason, and generally hold your team’s head under water as though you’re baptizing them.
The first guy I really believe people may hate by the end of the year in the AL is Buck Showalter. Now let me be very, very clear. I LOVE Buck Showalter. The man is a baseball guy with giant juevos, he tells things the way they are and backs down from noone. However, playing on the East Coast with the Yankees and Red Sox, a lot of very mentally soft fans will be genuinely hurt by a lot of his actions and interviews. First, his Orioles will win some big time games at some point this year, especially on the road in those Pla-Skool ballparks and he will let people know. This will piss off the high and mighty on the East Coast and there will be a lot that dislike him at the end of the year. However, I refuse to join this group and will love the guy until the bitter end. (Yes I know he was a Yankees manager, but he was also on Seinfeld so it evens out).
The second guy that people may be hated by the end of the year is Adrian Beltre. This is a guy who the Rangers signed for big money to take over third base for one of the most beloved Rangers in their history. Now Adrian is not a bad guy at all, he may have juiced, but he’s not a bad guy. However, he is about as tough as, well, I am. And once when I was little the neighbor girl beat me up. She was younger. Rangers fans may very well hate this guy by the end of the year because they will not have a chance to trade for pitching around the deadline because of his contract, and he will not play more than 120 games this year. He can be good at the dish, and he’s always great in the field, but his inability to stay on the field will do him in this year, and Rangers fans may hate him by the end. Further, if he does perform a miracle and stay on the field, the rest of the league may hate him because he will have great numbers in Arlington and they could make noise in the playoffs.
A third guy that may be hated by the end of the year is Joba Chamberlain. This asshat acts so self-entitled on the mound it’s absolutely disgusting. His antics will really bite him in the ass throughout the season as balls he flings toward the plate continually end up in the bleachers at Toys-R-Us field in the Bronx. There is no doubt that he will blow leads for them this season, some of which the Yankees will survive, but he will be a goat quite a few times in 2011. When he gets beat there will be plenty of people out there ready to pump their fists as they cross the dish. Finally, I would rather individually pull out every one of the hairs on my balls rather than be forced to watch another fluff piece about his Polio stricken dad raising him on his own. Being from Nebraska I played against Joba when I was little, and he’s not a unlikeable guy, but his dad is such a bag of assholes it makes me sick to watch that garbage. I have, on more than one occasion, seen him get kicked out of a little kids baseball game. Joba’s antics and overrated ability may make him the new hated player in baseball in 2011, however I think one guy goes above and beyond to be the newest recipient of the Milton Bradley award.
This man is Miguel Cabrera. This guy is dumber than a Mississippi high school dropout. People may not realize they hate him, but picture this, you work your ass off all your life, stay out of trouble, get a couple degrees, and you won’t make in your life what this asshat makes in a month. Now granted I have hated Miguel since he was about 10 years old and hit a home run in game 7 against the Cubs in the NLCS, but I think finally people are going to start jumping on this bandwagon. This man is the Charlie Sheen of baseball without the funny. He’s a functional drunk (which I’m ok with) but he’s a functional drunk who makes, well, a lot. On top of that the Tigers may be contenders this year, and even in Detroit as contenders they may hate him as their city goes to Hades and I’m going out on a limb to say he’s going to spend a lot on a car he can’t drive, and he won’t be driving American. There is a good chance this year that Miguel Cabrera is the most hated player in the AL as he shreds through teams being hated by their fans, and probably being resented by his own.