This is an outdated post

It's beautiful, I've heard a butterfly comes out of a cocoon every time he touches a bat.

Ken Griffey Junior.  About a week ago I was at a bar and I saw a program on FSN called “The Top 50 Collisions in Baseball History,” really an enjoyable program aside from one glaring, disgusting error.  One of their greatest collisions was Ken Griffey Junior making Willie Mays look like Scotty Smalls catching a ball against the centerfield wall at the King Dome and breaking his wrist.  I hadn’t yet had my first beer, but I went to the bathroom and vomited.  I remember watching that live.  That was the day that the best baseball player that ever lived shat upon his legacy.

Pulling a Mike Cameron

One of these guys made the most famous comeback of all time, the other nobody understands how he keeps coming back. Up to you to figure it out.

This blog died for a bit (along with my laptop) but I’m going to attempt to bring it back from the dead, much like my favorite movie genre (Zombie flicks).  For those who don’t know I had a laptop die on me and when I got it back I neglected to continue writing, but through some very influential requests I’m going to re-begin KillWhiteyHerzog at the All-Star break.  The first posts will be about how horribly misguided all my efforts were to pick the winners of various awards, and some seriously pumped writing about a Cubs fan enjoying the Pirates making the others from the NL Central shake in their boots.  I apologize about the break, especially during a critical time , but the second half this blog will bring very minimal insights and  hopefully some humor to anyone ridiculous enough to waste time reading.  Thank you and Best,

NB

(Hopefully) Nate McLouth Is Back

I grew up a Cubs fan and that is how I have always seen myself but I am not one of those fans who loves his team and hates everyone else.  The Cubs will always be my team but I also root for players who, I feel, play the game “the right way.”  The players I root for are the ones who are diving for balls when they are down by six.  The ones who jump into the stands chasing pop ups (but not this way….like this).  The guys who always run out ground balls.  This are the guys I want on my team, not the kind of player who only seems to play well if they are in a contract year (Yeah I’m look at you Adrian Beltre).

Worst Person of the Day

Josh Hamilton sucks.  Not in the baseball sense mind you.  He is the reigning MVP and he deserved to win the award.  He’s a great player he sucks as a person.  Hamilton wants you to believe he is a great guy, a great husband, a great teammate but I’m not buying it.  Maybe he is a nice guy.  I don’t know because I have never met him.  Is he the best husband?  Well obviously not.  But hey, he is a professional athlete and there is a lot of temptation out there.  What I do know is that he is a shitty teammate.

The Mets Sure Suck….Right Now.

Well......yeah.

The first thing you will notice when you look at the National League rosters compared to the American League rosters is how young the NL players are.  Weird, right?  Because I thought every good baseball player was pushing 35 but maybe thats because the only games that ever get shown on TV are Yankees/Red Sox games.  Its crazy to think that some teams out there are currently developing talent instead of just auctioning the same old players.  How did that work out Tampa?  Here are just a few, of the loooong list, of solid young players that we think are poised for a break out this year.

The Milton Bradley Award

He's an asshole...

Every year in every sport people rise above the cream of the crop and become the new favorites in a sport, and others show their true colors and become the newest Milton Bradley in their respective league.  Now it takes quite a bit to reach Milton’s level, but there are some guys on the Junior circuit who may be big enough closet assholes to come out and win this award.  Now for me to pick this I’m probably going to pick someone I just effing hate, see Ozzie Guillen, but to truly win it you have to be hated for good reason, and generally hold your team’s head under water as though you’re baptizing them.

Just Kill Me Now

Best Rivarly Ever!

Here’s a riddle, how do you take the best thing ever, and make it the worst?  Add the Yankees and the Red Sox.  Is there anything more overplayed than this horribly overrated rivalry?  This rivalry is as overrated as having babies.  Did you know that you don’t get to copulate any further once that happens, and after you have to raise a little asshole version of you?   It’s the second worst, behind Red Sox-Yankees.  Every year baseball is infested by morons from outside the sport talking about how great these 7 hour slap fights are.  How can so many people think this is a great rivalry?

The New Guys

Injured this year, maybe next year's breakout

The Junior Circuit is a place where a breakout player is a difficult thing to find.   A majority of the good teams in the AL revamp rosters through their George Costanza size wallets rather than by calling on youth like the pop industry.  Most of the studs on the Junior Circuit have more gray hair on their balls than the passengers of an Alaskan cruise. However there are young players in the AL that could make a huge mark this year, and could be on their way to stardom by the end of 2011.  Last year Neftali Feliz, closer for the Rangers, won the Rookie of the Year, however we are choosing to avoid the rookie of the year status because we don’t want to do any research so we are trying to pick a breakout player.  My crop involves a couple potential ROY’s and a couple guys who have been up, but may be in for a bigger year than in years past.

I declare umbrage!

The belly generates the power

Now I’m indifferent towards the Dodgers, but in watching the Dodgers/Giants game tonight I did have an issue with Jonathan Broxton.  Now I can’t confirm my issue is actually with Jonathan Broxton, or with the Dodgers PA people, but there is definitely an issue.  When Broxton came into the game to start the ninth, the PA played Iron Man by Black Sabbath a great song, a classic if you will, but is it really fitting?  A lot of songs don’t really say anything other than well that guy’s a douchebag (like Josh Beckett’s Nickelback), that guy’s a jackass (Chase Utley’s Vengaboys), or that guy is kinda awesome (Craig Counsell).  Also, just for the record, I use jackass as a term of endearment, all of my friend’s are jackasses, so I mean no harm by that term.  However, some songs say a little more, specifically about the type of player you may be.  Iron Man is one of these songs.  Iron Man is reserved for people like Cal Ripken who played day in-day out without question or Pete Rose who played the game like his legs may be broken for gambling debts if he didn’t go first to third on a base hit in the eighth inning down by 14 runs.  Iron Man speaks to the type of player you are, Jonathan Broxton, a good closer, maybe, but not an Iron Man.

NL Cy Young: So Good Its Kind of Boring

I don’t know if you are one of those people who sits around thinking of reasons why the National League is better than the American League, but if you are here is another one:  pitching.  The NL has the better pitchers by far.  So picking a Cy Young winner is not going to be the easiest job in the world.  I’d like to spend some time on each pitcher but there are just too many that are capable of giving Cy Young worthy performances so I’m going to have to just pick a couple.  Its Friday so I am lacking in patience and motivation.